Many couples have problems that can lead to inappropriate anger. Healthy couples figure out ways to resolve these issues for the good of the relationship and the good of the family. Their ability to do this comes from a desire to fix the problem and may be the result of a serious sit down talk. Their common belief is that the relationship is greater than the problem. They discuss the issue, come up with a plan on what steps are necessary to fix it, and follow through. The financial cost to the couple, $0.

     Let’s say the couple recognizes that there is a serious problem they can’t fix on their own. The healthy couple goes to a respected clinician who develops a plan for them on how to best resolve the issue. The cost; probably about $100 per hour for maybe ten sessions: $1000.

     Lets say that this couple isn’t healthy. Inappropriate anger becomes more the norm than the exception. Over time instead of fixing the problem they gather more and more evidence of why they don’t like the person or the relationship. If asked why they don’t leave, they would probably give one of these three reasons: the children, they don’t have the money, they love the person. The inappropriate anger gets worse and, after enough dis-ease, they either split up or, if really bad, someone gets arrested.

     If they split up they will fight for custody of their children along with fighting for assets. The cost: an attorney will probably charge around $400 per hour with a $4000 retainer (that’s for each person). If there is an arrest the cost again for the attorney may be $400 per hour with a retainer of $4000, or, if a public defender is involved, there will still be court costs, fines, bail, program fees, etc. The final cost could easily exceed $10,000 for one person.

     Simple math: a) $0, b) $1000, c) $4000+, d) $10,000+. The additional cost for (c), and (d): the mental and emotional cost that lasts for years if not decades.

Please see the truth in this and make healthy choices.