Any person attending a Domestic Violence/Anger Management program or seeking help needs to answer this question correctly.
Sometimes a group member/client may say something like, “Well, for sure, not call the police.” However, when asked, “What would you want your daughter or wife to do if attacked at a shopping center?” they will usually say, at a minimum, “Get help”.
The offender must take ownership. By minimizing the event they minimize the impact it has on others. When violence is not taken seriously, the offender protects themselves at the expense of a victim, often making the victim and anyone witnessing the violence feeling like an offender for saying something or taking action.
Always, always a victim of violence should seek help. This may be a friend, a relative, a professional, the law, any trusted individual.
Always, always the offender should seek help. This too may be a friend, a relative, a professional, any trusted individual.
The secret of violence will likely get worse without getting help. The relationship will always be damaged and trust gone.
I am certainly aware that offenders often have a natural resistance to seeking help. They want to believe it won’t happen again. Many times they blame the victim. Both people need help immediately. Without help more bad is likely to happen.